By Nick Zaller
Light refracted to reveal our thoughts and fears
Perhaps too much so.
We are naked to one another’s stares
As if we can no longer conceal the vulnerabilities within.
A glance becomes a whisper,
A gaze a scream
Daring one another to look away.
I can see within you the same fears
That I thought I buried from the world long ago.
We walk past one another as shadows in the night
Fixing our gaze on the reality that lies ahead.
I cannot see the unseen
Though I feel it calling my name.
Look up, the distant voice calls
For me to open my eyes wider
To take in the light I cannot see.
Will you meet me there,
In that place where our souls lack comfort?
Or will you look away, and leave me
To stumble in the darkness?
If I could only summon the courage
I might look a little longer.
Life and death all around us
Blinding us like a thousand suns.
Points of light darkening our vision
Of who is standing right beside us.
Our mouths muted while we
Bow to the deafening roar
Of words unspoken.
I cannot touch you
But I know you are there.
Reaching across both time and space
I grasp for the star twinkling in the distance.
The beauty of what I see
Defies my other senses.
Windows that cannot be closed
Revealing hidden mysteries within.
I cannot help but look
Into the places I am not supposed to see.
Waiting for a sign that it is ok
To linger at the precipice of knowing.
An invitation to come inside and rest.
But I am only given a warning
That I am not ready to see.
Dr. Zaller is a Professor at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Fay W. Boozman College of Public Health. His research focus has been on the overlap between behavioral health disorders, including addiction and mental illness, infectious diseases and incarceration both in the United States and internationally. Dr. Zaller earned his bachelor’s degree in microbiology and East Asian Studies from Kansas University in 1999. After graduation, he lived in China for a year as a Fulbright Scholar before completing a doctorate in public health at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in 2004.