Carolyn Jabs
People flicker out. Each of us has an unknown
expiration date. Someone is always left behind.
If we cannot live forever,
what bargains should we make?
Can we schedule our tears?
When must we be wrecked by grief?
How long should we allow ourselves
to linger in the twilit gap,
between consciousness and dreams,
where cancer does not exist?
Weeping is not your way. You would rather die
than ruin one day with useless medicine.
Soon, I will begin to think about a future
that does not include you. I will not
confide these thoughts even to myself.
Like people who have built on a fault line,
we will reach across the widening chasm
as long as we can. What are the odds
of seeing another sunrise as beautiful as this one?
Carolyn Jabs has contributed essays and articles to the New York Times, Newsweek, Working Mother, Self and many other publications. She is author of The Heirloom Gardener, one of the first books about heirloom vegetables, and co-author of Cooperative Wisdom, Bringing People Together When Things Fall Apart.