By Susan Davis
Somewhere in the deep canvas of a coma you sleep
like a bear hibernating. Others have risen
from deep dark comas, but not you. All day all night not
one muscle moves. Hooked up to every machine with
lights flashing and the machines beeping. At least you are still
alive according to the manual. I see you straight as a board with your
beautiful brown eyes taped shut. They want to stay open. Perhaps that is your way
of communicating.
I think about all the knowledge that rests
in your benevolent brain, yet it rests and remains in hypothermia. The hospital room
is as cold as an igloo. Shorts and t-shirts are my daily attire. It is in the nineties
outside. I shiver in your room because of the cold yet I have goosebumps because I don’t
know where you are.
I try to sharpen my knowledge of a Licox, numbers on the oxygen box. They elude me because I don’t want to memorize what any of it means. You’re breathing because a machine is breathing for you. Denial I’m sure. I even find myself begging to God. If He lets you live then I will promise to take care of you forever.
When will you wake up? They told me this was a marathon not a sprint. Well, I don’t run marathons.
In fact, I don’t even sprint.
Your white teeth barely show because there is an endotracheal tube shoved in
your mouth finding its way to your airways. Is it dark in your coma?
Are you thinking about work? Do you remember our three dogs’ names? How long does a coma last? Doctors told me at least a month. How can you be in a deep dark coma for a month? It is an induced coma. Why do they have to keep you quiet for so long? Somewhere you are in there. I must believe that.
Susan M. Davis is a retired English teacher of 28.5 years. She is a constant mentor for her former students. She is married to her wife of twenty years. Her wife suffered a brain aneurysm rupture on 7/28/2008. Susan continued to teach 160 eighth graders a day then she went home to caretake for her wife. In between those full time duties, Susan earned three MFA degrees at Fairfield University. Susan and Karen live in Irvine California with their three pups.