By Holly Taylor
I realized a long time ago that I am not a “normal” mom. Luckily for me, my husband is extremely patient and allows me the opportunity to experiment as a parent. My curiosity and his support led to a special season of decreased stress and anxiety for our family.
To set the stage, my husband and I were both aware that we might receive promotions and increased job responsibilities at the same time. Both of my elementary aged sons were having different struggles in school — one with personal responsibility, the other with social situations. Our life was reaching a significant stress level and we needed a release valve.
At home, our sons were displaying signs of anxiety: finger tapping, avoiding direct eye contact, and apologizing constantly. They were waiting daily for something “bad” to happen and expected to get in trouble for every minor perceived infraction. My husband and I were easily frustrated and having headaches regularly. When most parents would limit activities, I added one more. We volunteered seven nights at a haunted house this past fall to raise money for community theater. My husband helped with check-in while my elementary aged sons and I were scare actors. Approximately 25 hours changed our family perspective and lightened our collective mental load.
When a season of notable change and stress occurs, it is common for anxiety to set in. Fear and anxiety are similar but different. Fear is shorter-lived and associated with an expected threat, while anxiety is a longer-lasting apprehension linked to the “possibility” of something unpleasant occurring. There is evidence supporting many health benefits gained through controlled fear encounters.
Haunted houses are known for loud noises, strobe lighting, eerie music, and jump scares — all of which can be frightening when you are on the receiving end of the encounter, but what happens when you are the one delivering it? The following are positive actions to decrease stress and anxiety that occur when you are the one providing the fright to others:
- Focused responses to change: Controlled fear experiences allow our bodies to mentally and physically prepare for worst-case scenarios and future threats. An individual becomes more psychologically resilient, controls their responses, and adapts quicker to change.
- Mindfulness or Positive Affirmations: My youngest son convinced himself through affirmation that he was “as scary as the teenagers” and “brave enough to do this.” Both perspectives have helped him try new things and strive to be like positive older role models. For two weeks, he also invited random strangers to visit the haunted house.
- Patience and Focused Senses: When waiting to deliver a fright, the scarer must remain extremely still, have great reactive timing, or both. This requires engagement of most of the senses through focused listening, perceptive vision, measured breathing, and sometimes feeling for vibrations on floors, walls, or stairs. Quick mental processing and reaction times are also necessary, as each person being frightened reacts differently.
- Deep Breathing: Of all focused senses, deep breathing has the most documented benefits and is essential to remain calm and still when working in a haunted house. It lowers blood pressure and heart rate, improves the immune system, and reduces lactic acid build up and muscle tension.
- Connecting with others to form strong social bonds: Communication with various aged people, planning and coordinating actions, and ongoing text or social media friendships are all benefits shared with fellow volunteers. My entire family has forged new friendships with people we may have never encountered in our day-to-day lives. My eldest son developed close relationships with a diverse group of adults and strengthened bonds with other young actors.
- High Fives and Hugs: When a particularly spectacular reaction occurs, the person delivering the haunt is often high-fived, hugged, and praised by the rest of the team during the intermission or end of the night recap. High fives take two seconds or less and are proven to increase motivation and decrease cortisol. Hugs result in oxytocin release and buildup of trust. Both help to create camaraderie and form stronger social bonds. The combination of decreased cortisol, increased oxytocin levels, and strong camaraderie leads to significant relaxation. During the haunted house with loud noises and strobe lights, my youngest child displayed this deep relaxation when he fell asleep on three different nights curled up in a chair in his clown costume. He was so relaxed that visitors thought he was a terrifyingly real prop.
Is scare acting for everyone? Definitely not. However, controlled experiences with fear inducing situations may be what is needed to improve coping, reduce stress, and limit growing anxiety.
- Terrified of the unknown or potentially real-life situations? Go watch a horror movie or true crime documentary but do it with a friend.
- Afraid of skydiving? Compromise with a wind tunnel. Take someone with you who loves the adrenaline rush. Their joy and bravery can be contagious.
- Do interviews make you uncomfortable? Let people you trust ask mock questions. They care about your well-being and will provide honest and constructive feedback.
Our twenty-five hours of scare acting and volunteerism significantly lessened the stress and anxiety in our daily lives. We laughed, shared stories from our experiences, discussed new friendships, and inspired others to join us. Our struggles did not disappear, but our approaches to overcoming them did. We each gained a different kind of clarity and peace about conquering the “scary” events in our lives.
Holly Taylor, DNP, RN, is a Quality Manager at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. A native Arkansan, Holly lives in a rural community with her husband, Steven Taylor, and two sons, Griffin and Marshall. She enjoys family time, coaching youth sports, travel, trying new things, and attending church.