Change

When I am old, I want to look back
And feel like my life really mattered.
But for now. I’m young and confused
Often getting bruised and battered.

From where I started it still is surprising
That I am where I am.
Perspective is gained when I pause
And look back to where I began

From humble beginnings I come
Once a kid full of rage
But I’ve learned to live is to love
And slowly I’ve started to change.

I’m not where I want to be yet
But I have faith that someday I might be,
The road is long. but I’ve grown strong
To beat the darkness I’m fighting

I think I’ve become someone different
And it makes me feel pride
To know I can change
I feel like I’m hitting my stride

I finally feel I belong
But part of me still feels uncertain
I try and resist the doubt
That soon they’ll be closing the curtain

I try to stay true and try to stay focused
I can’t help but fear I might fall.
Had clarity in very brief moments
But sometimes it’s hard to recall.

Sometimes it thunders and rains,
I feel like I’m falling apart,
But the storm always breaks before I do
And it feels like I get a fresh start

Like I’m on a boat out on the ocean
The skies are sunny and blue
The gentle breeze puts me in motion
The journey, exciting and new

I float away, not sure where I’m going
I wonder when I’ll get there too
But overwhelming the fear of drowning
Is the high of enjoying the view

Nick Wary is a medical student at UAMS.